Sunitha Chandy is a 2002 graduate from the University of California, Santa Barbara,
and spent a year in New York doing an internship
with Fuller Theological Seminary, class
of 2007. She currently lives in Los Angeles and
works at Harbor UCLA Medical Center helping
children adopted from foster care.
What fears did you have about finding a
new spiritual community after college?
I think my biggest fear was not being able to easily and quickly plug into a new community. InterVarsity is such an intentional community that knows how to target college students, get them involved and keep them involved extremely well. I can't even remember how many times my small group leader came around knocking at my door trying to get me to come to a barbecue or some sort of event, let alone a Bible study. In contrast, not all churches are able to operate with that same intensity, and often they do not have the time or resources to target new people in the same way InterVarsity does. I feared it might take a bit more effort on my part to become involved in a new community.
As you transitioned, did you find those
fears to be valid?
Yes! Honestly, I think InterVarsity spoils us. We are surrounded by staff members and student leaders committed to creating a fellowship to meet the specific needs of college students. So they approach us in a comfortable way, give us events and services that match the way we worship and communicate. Churches, on the other hand, often don't have a targeted age group but are rather a broad community reaching out to groups of people in different life stages and situations. Because of that, a church tends to have ways of reaching out, of teaching and developing community which often look very different from a college-based fellowship. Therefore, it really was a transition to learn the ropes of a new community and find how I fit into that community. It has not been a quick or easy process, like it was plugging into InterVarsity.
Why did you choose to get involved with
the specific church you did after college?
I ended up joining the church that I did because God told me to. Really that was it. In many ways I didn't want to join the church that I did. When I moved to Los Angeles for graduate school, I knew there would be a Mar Thoma Church there, the denomination I grew up in. The Mar Thoma Church is an Indian church, established when St. Thomas came to India. I knew going back to this specific denomination would mean returning to a more conservative, monocultural community which followed a liturgy, all things I had avoided when looking for a spiritual community while at college. But I felt God calling me to get involved in this church, and my first few months were torture. I felt disconnected from the worship and the community. But I stuck with it, and slowly I started making connections and getting involved. After four years, I feel like I am a part of the community, and I have learned how to be spiritually challenged and motivated in new ways. I feel my relationship with God and with the Christian community greatly benefited from the struggle to become a part of the community.
Looking back, it was very tempting to get involved in a church community that met all of my needs. However, I've come to realize that church is not about my needs. It's about God's desire to be worshiped. God knew exactly which community I needed for the next stage of my journey. It was not the one I would have chosen, but it was exactly the one I needed.
What advice would you give to someone
as they transition away from one spiritual
community to another?
Community takes time. It is easier to build deep relationships in college because you eat, sleep and live with people in your Inter-Varsity chapter. Unless you join a monastery or a commune, it is rare to find that same community overlap in a church. Expect that in the outside world, building trust and community takes time, effort and patience. So pray that God will give you patience in finding a community and the boldness to take initiative in friendships and going to events. Don't wait for someone to invite you. Invite yourself! Ask to meet with the pastor or a Bible study leader to find out about the church, the vision of the church and ministry needs.
I would also suggest looking for a church with problems and imperfections. We often are on the hunt for the perfect church, with the right worship, right outreach and right community, or one that looks like the Inter-Varsity chapter we just left. But honestly, you will never find it. So pray that God would show you what community he wants you to join. And go where he tells you. Joining a community that didn't run the way I wanted not only challenged me to see the good things about non-InterVarsity ministry strategies but also,
as trust between me and my new community grew, it gave me a great role of being a catalyst for positive change. God has a specific community in mind that you need and that needs you. Take a step of faith and go where he calls you.
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