Community

Created to be in Relationship
To glorify God and grow personally as leaders, we must be learning how to be the people of God. It is impossible to avoid the emphasis that Scripture places on community. From the covenant promise spoken through the Old Testament prophets ("I will be your God and you will be my people"), to the communities described in Acts, to the continual appeals for unity and love among believers in the epistles, we cannot miss it.

Unfortunately, before I was a Christian, it was deeply ingrained in me that it was wrong to need anyone or anything. Needing was a sign of weakness, and at all costs I must be STRONG! After all, real leaders were characterized by rugged individualism and unfaltering independence. After I became a Christian, that same philosophy took on a spiritual veneer -- it was wrong to need anyone or anything other than God.

Both philosophies are lies.

God created and redeemed us to be in relationship not only with Him, but also with other people. However, we need to realize that we stand against a powerful tide as we seek to live out the Gospel in our relationships. Our whole society is set up to avoid the difficulties of working through problems that arise in close relationships. We leave (move out, divorce, switch jobs or churches) relationships that become too difficult or don't meet our needs. We also breeze over areas of conflict in the name of the most highly revered virtue -- tolerance.

Spiritual Growth and Effectiveness in Service
The quality of relationships in your leadership team is of supreme importance for your spiritual growth and effectiveness in service. It will take courage and perseverance to face conflicts that arise as you work closely with others in your fellowship, but only by truly facing these conflicts can you break through to the state of genuine reconciliation that glorifies God.

As we were working through some painful tensions in our leadership team last year, I asked someone why relationships with Christians are frequently so much more tension-filled than relationships with non-Christians. After asking the question, I was struck again with the truth behind it. Christian relationships are not smooth sailing.

As I listened to my friend's response, however, I realized that the difficulties are not entirely surprising. Rightfully, other Christians expect a lot more from us. They call us to Biblical, and often challenging, standards of behavior. Because the issues with which we are dealing are so important, the stakes are high. Our passion heightens differences in opinion.

Witness to Non-believers
Healthy, growing relationships among Christians are also critical, not only to our effectiveness in service, but also to our witness to non-believers. Because of this, our relationships will be a target area for Satan. We should expect difficulties in our relationships with our brothers and sisters in Christ.

Often in the midst of the discomfort of conflict, I have been tempted to forget the impact our relationships have on those around us. However, we cannot afford to do that. A central part of our witness is the health of our relationships.

In the midst of the same period of tension last year, I spent a lot of time in John 14-17. Jesus' command described in these verses was to "Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." (John 13:34-35) Jesus' words are not a casual call to love. As Paul prayed for the Ephesians, "I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge -- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." (Eph. 3:17-19, italics mine) The health of our relationships is critical to our effectiveness and spiritual growth.