Sidebar — How to Start Talking

Your chapter may want to create a safe place to talk and ask questions. Make sure you are not just being politically correct with each other; there is nothing that kills honesty faster than P.C. language! Here are some basic ground rules:

1. Work hard to be honest with each other about what is going on for you internally, otherwise you’ll just be going through the motions of reconciliation. Say those things you’re afraid to say. If you aren’t real, it’s a waste of time.

2. First, meet together as ethnic-specific groups, then come back together for a large group discussion involving everyone. The purpose of this format is to have a place to feel safe and be honest, and then have people who understand and can help you bring the issue to the large group as a community. You can say anything you want in your ethnic-specific time as long as you are willing to repeat yourself in front of everyone else when you all get back together.

3. Speak the truth in love to each other, and make an effort to listen intently to each other. You are not merely speaking the truth, but also loving one another.

4. No one should leave angry or offended by someone else. Go to that other person who said something that bothered you and work it through, or at least start the process.

—Rachel Lei. Adapted from material found in “Creating an Acts 6 Reconciling Community” by Los Angeles, California, staff workers Lisa Harper, Doug and Sandy Schaupp, and Tracey Shyr.