A PhD Career Crucified: Ray’s Story

As a PhD student conducting research at an Ivy League medical school, Ray’s work is extremely niche. 

Hoping to make a rare discovery in the field of immunology, Ray spends countless hours in the lab running and repeating experiments. If he’s successful, his research could one day lead to treatment for allergies.

Despite his academic strengths, starting college wasn’t a smooth transition for him. Ray struggled after moving away from his close-knit high school friend group.

“It was a very dark time emotionally,” Ray said. “It got to the point I wouldn’t eat in the dining halls; I would just go get my food and stay in my room like a hermit.”

Luckily, one of the few times Ray did go to the dining hall, he unintentionally sat down at a table where a group of Christian students gathered for a ministry meeting. That same group of students eventually led him to put his faith in Christ. 

Now, as he works towards a PhD at Columbia University in New York, Ray is leading ministry himself.

Called to Lead, Chasing Success 

A couple years later, Ray began his PhD journey at the City University of New York (CUNY) with a firm faith in Jesus and immediately searched for a Christian fellowship on campus. Although he wasn’t involved with InterVarsity in undergrad, a fellow student soon invited him into InterVarsity’s Columbia Christian Fellowship (CCF). 

Ray began attending fellowship right away. At the time, CCF was a small group of only five students.

Then Hahn, an InterVarsity staff, asked Ray to step into leadership.

“I said yes, recognizing the need for students to step up but also knowing God was calling me to serve,” Ray explained. “I had options for where I wanted to go to grad school. I was asking, ‘Why did God call me here [New York City] and not to any other city in America?’”

Despite finding purpose in leading and growing his chapter, Ray soon began wrestling with how he’d be able to be a missional Christian invested in his chapter while also pursuing a demanding career in experimental research. 

“There's a common self-deprecating humor for us in the fields that says, ‘publish or perish.’ It pushes this idea that the best students stay in the lab from 9 a.m. to midnight.”

After two years in his PhD program, Ray was still in the optimization stage: figuring out how to run his experiments instead of making discoveries. Although making a discovery as a student is rare, he couldn't shake the fear that if he never published something, his career and worth would amount to nothing. 

Surrender For Greater Joy 

As the pressure mounted and he reached a breaking point, Ray realized that success in his career had turned into an idol. 

“I had to put my career on the cross and understand that, just because I am a Christian doesn't mean I'm going to have a successful career,” Ray said. “God will take care of me even if I don't have success, and I have to be okay with only having God.”

In that moment, Ray surrendered his future to Christ, realizing his worth was never meant to be in publications or productivity. Now, with his identity being more deeply rooted in Jesus, he approaches his work with joy and gratitude. 

“The reason I'm still doing this is because I enjoy it,” Ray said. “I get to see how God works on a scale that no one really gets to see. And when I think about that, I'm like, wow, this is a gift.”

A Leader of Leaders 

Surrendering success brought Ray the freedom to reject extra hours in the lab and invest more deeply in his fellowship, where he trains the next generation of student leaders. Instead of overworking to secure his future, he’s entrusting himself to God. 

And he’s seeing the spiritual fruit of this. Years after joining CCF, Ray has been involved with helping to grow his chapter from five students to dozens, including seven student leaders.

Speaking from this experience, Ray wants his fellow grad students to know this: “As a student, you're not in waiting for God to call you into something –– God is already calling you into something.”

By supporting InterVarsity’s ministry, you extend the real hope of Jesus to graduate students like Ray who are currently leading on campus and will go on to be tomorrow’s scientists, engineers, and industry leaders. Donate today to ensure these students have an opportunity to be shaped as servant-leaders and whole-life disciples of Jesus.