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A Lesson in Trust
In her own words, Marya tells how her leadership responsibilities in InterVarsity at Earlham College- Richmond, IN have deepened her relationship with God.
In April of 2003, when I was nominated for the leadership team I was not really surprised, but I did not expect to be chosen. Nearly every other member of Earlham Christian Fellowship had been nominated as well. However, when we finally figured out who was actually eligible (those who would be around for the full year), only five people were left, I among them.
By the time the decision was made, I knew I would be one of those selected, and I was not happy. But I felt as though God were saying that he had given me the time I needed to grow up, and now it was time for me to step into a leadership role. With some reservations, I agreed to serve. Over the summer, though, I grew certain that the members of Earlham Christian Fellowship had made a mistake. I was miserably unhappy, and spent much of my time reflecting on the events of the past semester, which had served to drive a large dent in my confidence.
I asked for prayer from a woman in my church, explaining my fears and wondering what Earlham Christian Fellowship members had ever seen in me. She responded, “Marya, they didn’t see you, they saw God in you, and that’s who they nominated.”
I was immensely relieved to hear what she had to say, and, at that moment, I remembered that Joe, our staff worker, had said the same thing to me back in April. Even so, I still started the school year with some trepidation. I hardly knew the other members of the leadership team; one was extremely shy, another intimidated me, and the third seemed like a natural leader and made me wonder what I could ever contribute.
Since none of us knew the others well, we all struggled to work together for the first few weeks. I was obsessed with details and frequently called my other group members to make sure they had dealt with minor responsibilities. I knew I was being irritating, but because I didn’t know them, I didn’t trust them, and so kept pestering them. Then, one time a detail was forgotten and it was an important detail. This was a turning point. We all admitted that we had let something important drop, but we also found that previously, all details had been taken care of quite well. After that point, we learned to appreciate each other’s talents. I picked up on the little details, while others made sure I never lost track of the larger picture.
Now, as I told the newly selected members of next year’s leadership team, we run like a well-oiled machine. We know that Joe will keep us on track and make us laugh in the process. We know that Schuyler will have almonds in his pockets. We know that Alyssa prefers vanilla to chocolate, and we know that I always need a pen to write on the back of my hand. In addition to the improved dynamics of the team, God has used us to grow the chapter on almost every front, from our sense of community, to the quality of our weekly meetings, to our outreach to the campus.
Being on the leadership team has been a marvelous experience for me, though I may not have said so at the beginning of the year. Not only did I learn from my fellow members, but I also grew to love them as friends, and now our leadership team meetings are one of the best parts of the week for me. I will not be able to be on the leadership team again next year, though if I could, I would probably decline. I have no desire to rob others of this rich learning experience. Naturally, I will have to learn to trust the new team, as I learned to trust the old. I have a feeling that God, out of his love and grace, will continue to challenge me in these areas in the months and years to come.