Kate and Ben met during their freshman year at the University of Wisconsin-Oshkosh at an InterVarsity conference. They were a part of a small group that gathered to pray that their family members would become Christians.
Through their time at college, Kate and Ben remained active in the chapter, serving as Bible study leader and prayer coordinator. When she was a sophomore, Kate became convinced that God is a loving, giving God, capable of doing great things. She asked God to fill the largest lecture hall on campus with students singing hymns of praise. Within a couple of years the largest lecture hall on campus was filled with students lifting their voices in praise to God.
During their junior year, Ben made two important decisions: he signed up for ROTC, and he asked Kate to marry him. Kate accepted Ben’s proposal, and after graduation in 1998, they were married. Kate started teaching at Rawhide Boys Ranch for troubled teens. Ben began fulfilling his ROTC commitment, spending many weeks training with the Army Reserves. Kate and Ben continued their involvement with the InterVarsity chapter, as alumni volunteers. They led Bible studies and mentored students.
Soon they were expecting a baby and Kate and Ben decided to buy a house. Ben suggested that they look at a two-story, farm-style house on a quiet street half a block from campus. At first Kate was not thrilled about the location, but when she came into the house and saw the huge kitchen, one of the most important things on her house wish list, she changed her mind about living so close to the university. The house also had a yard for their baby to play in and lots of room for entertaining. Kate realized that she should not second guess God on what he had to give them and agreed that they should buy the house.
The house became the center of activity in their lives. Ben stayed home to care for Emma, their daughter, who filled the house with her laughter. Kate and Ben also welcomed students into their home. InterVarsity leaders would call on Wednesday and ask if they could hold a leadership meeting on Friday. Sundays often found more than fifty students in their house eating a spaghetti dinner, enjoying Kate’s and Ben’s hospitality.
The leaders of the InterVarsity chapter asked Kate to speak at a large group meeting. She was reticent, thinking that she had nothing to say. As she prayed about the invitation, she realized that she had had some experiences of the greatness of God and that she could share these with the students. So on the appointed Thursday evening she talked to the students gathered in the university lecture hall about her experiences of living as a Christian at college. As the students heard Kate speak of God from the depth of her personal relationship, they were moved to worship him.
Over the next year, Ben was away from home for extended periods of time, fulfilling his duty in the Army Reserves. As Kate dealt with the loneliness and the frustrations of being a single parent, she became more aware of God’s care for her and her family. Working with InterVarsity students not only offered her an outlet for her gift of teaching, but also a list of friends who were more than willing to baby-sit. And as she learned she could not control the schedule that the government had for her husband, and by extension her own life, she became more dependent on God.
God blessed Kate and Ben with another daughter, Rayna. But when she was just four months old, Ben’s reserve unit was called up to serve in Iraq. In September of 2004, he shipped out to Al Taqaddum, Iraq, to lead a crew of mechanics charged with keeping military vehicles in running order. Ben was faithful in writing to his family, and he and Kate were able to talk on the phone about once a week. Kate told Ben that Rayna took her first steps and how the Bible study was going. Ben told Kate of the opportunities that he had to share the gospel with the men in his unit.
As Kate spent time with God, she realized that he was beyond her thoughts, preeminent and unbounded. Kate became convinced that God wanted to do great things in her life. In her daily prayers, Kate submitted to God’s plan. She was willing to do and be anything he chose for her. As she related this to Ben, she told him that if he ever learned that God was leading him in a particular way, however unusual it might be, she was with him. God had prepared her to go anywhere, to the mission field, life as a military wife or even raising a family a half a block from the University of Wisconsin-Oshkosh. “What is big to God is not the same as what is big to us,” she said.
On a warm summer evening in late July, Kate was home visiting with Jane, a friend from college, and watching her children play before their bed-time. Kate noticed a black car with government plates pull into the driveway. Two military officers emerged from the car. She asked Jane to take the children into the kitchen for a snack. Kate heard the men step onto the porch and waited for their knock before she let them in. They brought the news that a young wife most dreads. Ben had been killed in Iraq on July 27, 2005.
That night friends from Kate’s church came to comfort her. Her family arrived and Ben’s family came from Illinois. Other friends from the community surrounded her with love and support.
On August 5, 2005, hundreds of people attended Ben’s funeral, many testifying to the influence he had had in their lives. A friend from his Army unit shared that it was evident in Ben’s life that he loved God and his family. Hundreds of people from across the country wrote to share how much Ben’s life and commitment to Christ had influenced them.
In the following weeks, Kate leaned on her family and friends and found comfort in her relationship with God whom she had learned to trust. God had certainly brought a big change into her life. Kate had thought that she would be exploring God’s plan for her life with Ben, but that was not to be. While she was uncertain about her future, she was committed to serving God. As a new school year began on campus, Kate started mentoring several young women and leading a Bible study. She knew that God was with her and would lead her in this new phase of her life.
