His Sheep Follow Him Because they Know His Voice

Before InterVarsity’s Staff Conference, the Intercessory Prayer team at InterVarsity’s National Service Center— of which I am a member—diligently prayed every week that the Conference would be characterized by joy. We wanted the staff to experience a deep sense of community, vision, and God’s love. We prayed that God would guide the Conference into a time of celebration.

In the two months since my boyfriend broke up with me, God has been faithfully showing me what it means to be following closely after him. And also what it means to listen for his voice. Learning to discern God’s voice in the midst of my pain began with a word from my friend about confirmation. She said that when you are confirmed in something that Scripture is teaching you or something that you have prayed for, that is God’s voice.

Learning to hear God’s voice has been a learning curve for me. Although I have followed Jesus for most of my life, discerning his voice has always been difficult. As MaryKate Morse mentioned in her exposition of Romans 8 during one of the plenary sessions at Staff Conference, one of the things that prevents people from moving forward in the Spirit is the paralysis of doubt from questioning if what they are hearing is really from the Lord or whether it is from their own thoughts. I knew God, but I didn’t know how to recognize the presence of the Holy Spirit in my life.

But God has begun to teach me what it means to rely on him and to listen to him. I began to read John 10 shortly after the break-up, and that Scripture has become alive to me. In John 10, Jesus describes himself as the Good Shepherd who knows his sheep and whose sheep know him; he goes on ahead of the sheep, and the sheep recognize his voice. In a manner that is hard to describe, I have discovered what it means to know that God is speaking. The night I was talking with my friend about hearing the voice of God, she explained the process of listening to God’s voice by suggesting that we read John 10 together. I commented that I had been reading that passage earlier, and it had meant a lot to me – “see Katie!” she said, “that’s the voice of God.”

After MaryKate’s exposition about the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, she invited us to pray with prayer partners at the back of the room. I’m not someone who generally asks for prayer when it’s offered in public. I’ll sit in my seat and quietly pray to myself, but I generally don’t want attention drawn to myself by getting out of my chair. But in an unusual moment of vulnerability that day, I decided to get prayed over – I got out of my seat not even knowing what I should ask God for.

A woman approached me, and I asked that she pray for me to discern God’s voice in my life. During the prayer she placed her hand on my head, and I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit surrounding me and welling up inside of me. For that moment my wounded heart felt inexplicable joy. And then the woman began to pray John 10 – she prayed that I would recognize the voice of the Shepherd and follow His staff back and forth. I knew, the way a baby recognizes and responds to her mother, that God was speaking to me and affirming me. That prayer was an amazing gift.

But it was not only me to whom the presence of the Holy Spirit was felt. At one point during the Conference, one of the emcees, Gracee Biskee, commented that she had observed joyfulness in the attitudes and conversations of people, that the Conference was a real celebration. When I heard her say this I smiled to myself because I understood that God was answering our prayers about the Conference. From the biblical expositions to the dance party on the last night, the Conference was filled with the presence of God.

For many people, talking about how they have experienced the Holy Spirit can be confusing. It is subjective, unquantifiable, and intensely personal. It is hard to explain and from the outside hard to understand. Only rarely do we feel the tangible presence of the Holy Spirit, but we are still asked to be discerning of his voice at all times – and when we hear it not to doubt, but rather to follow in faith. Often in our self-reliance we do not listen to him, I know in my life that was true in the past and is still true today. Learning to listen and follow the voice of God is a process, not an overnight revelation.

Furthermore, listening to God in the midst of pain looks very different than listening to God when life is going pretty well. In times of struggle, we tend to experience things more intensely, whether it is in clearly hearing God, or more often in his silence. C.S. Lewis said,

The time when there is nothing in your soul except a cry for help may be just the time when God can’t give it. You are like the drowning man who can’t be helped because he clutches and grabs. Perhaps your own reiterated cries deafen you to the voice you hoped to hear. On the other hand, ‘knock and it shall be opened.’ But does knocking mean hammering and kicking the door like a maniac?. . . After all, you must have a capacity to receive, or even omnipotence can’t give¹.

Since Staff Conference, listening to God has not been so easy. The joy I felt there is not so easily maintained.

The strongest desire I have felt during this painful season is for it to be over. Sometimes when we feel trapped in the valleys of life, we forget to listen for what God has for us today. I need to remind myself daily of the Psalmist’s declaration in Psalm 27: 13-14, “I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” I have learned that it’s alright to feel pain; God has never told me to ignore my pain, as if I were not hurt at all, but instead he directs me to continually offer it to him. When I come before the Lord in quietness of spirit, opening one hand in offering my pain, one hand in trust and hope, patiently waiting on him, I am able to hear his voice.

The powerful moments of communion with God that many felt at Staff Conference, including me, don’t last forever. The voice of God is not always so palpable, his presence is not always so concrete, but it is in the getting on with life and the hard work of living out our faith that we still need to listen carefully to the Shepherd who says, “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me…no one can snatch them out of my hand.” John 10: 27-28.

¹ C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed