From Loss to Life-Changing Community: Elijah’s Story

When Elijah entered college at Arizona State University as a freshman, he had the odds stacked against him. 

His best friend of over ten years had just passed away in a sudden accident, he was angry at his parents for years of broken relationship, and he wasn’t even sure he would be able to afford college. 

Closed off and trying to cope with his grief, Elijah spent hours in the gym working out his frustration. 

One night, as he looked out the window from the gym, he noticed a group of students playing volleyball outside and decided to ask to join them. 

He was greeted by Hannah and Micah Karr, InterVarsity campus staff at ASU, who invited him in. After playing for a while, Micah invited Elijah to Bible study and they exchanged information. 

Elijah had come for a game. What he didn’t know was that he had just met the community that would lead him to Christ over the next four years. 

Observing From a Distance 

The tragic loss of his best friend left Elijah wondering about the afterlife and doubtful that he’d ever have deep relationships again. Even though he'd ignored Micah's messages and invitations for over a month, Elijah decided one day to show up to Bible study. 

“After the death of my best friend, I didn’t have a Hollywood, glamorous experience with God. It just ignited a curiosity about God in me,” said Elijah. “What brought me to know Jesus was coming to InterVarsity and having other people speak of Jesus and share their testimonies.” 

After attending his first Bible study, Elijah began what he calls his “observation year.” He put his faith in Christ and continued attending Bible studies and events but avoided deep relationships. 

“There was hesitancy in my heart because I had never been a part of a community,” said Elijah. “I had been to church, but I had never been a part of a community that my parents didn't drag me to.” 

Still, he kept showing up to large group week after week and slowly began taking steps toward involvement, like playing guitar on the worship team. When Micah and Hannah invited him onto the apprenticeship team during sophomore year, he joined hesitantly. 

“At the time, I thought, ‘That's scary because I only started learning about Jesus in the last few months,’” said Elijah. “That little gap between Bible study attendee and Bible study leader was apprenticeship, and that really helped me step up to leadership.” 

However, coming onto leadership wasn’t a perfect, linear journey. Elijah says one of the most important moments in his discipleship came early in his junior year when a friend called him out for patterns of sin and selfishness. 

After reflecting on what his friend had said to him, he began intentionally making sacrifices to reach other students. During his junior year, he rejected a prestigious internship offer to join an InterVarsity summer missions project in Bosnia, where he says he learned that a key part of following Jesus was sacrifice for others and dependency on the Lord. 

“[In Bosnia] Micah was teaching us that by ourselves we’re like speedboats. I can go incredibly fast and do things on my own,” said Elijah. “But the kingdom of God is like a cruise ship where you're bringing other people with you at a slower pace.” 

Once he returned to campus, Elijah decided to make another sacrifice. He quit his job and moved into the ministry house with Micah and Hannah Karr. 

Relying on Relationship 

As someone who struggled with vulnerability, moving into the ministry house was a big leap for Elijah. He had worked all four years of college and took pride in being self-sufficient and independent, but for the next step in his growth, he felt God calling him toward relationship. 

“Moving into the ministry house, my intention was to move away from independence and have other people hold me accountable in godly ways. When you are friends with someone, they see a portion of your brokenness, but when you move in with someone, they see brokenness that you just can't really communicate. They see your blind spots in a more authentic way, and man, do I have blind spots!” 

Elijah’s decision led to growth for both him and his community. He began leading Bible study with Micah at the ministry house, inviting others into fellowship in his home. As he began to open up, his friends felt like they were getting to know another person.

Miracles for my community, and for Me Too 

Despite seeing God work miraculously in his community, Elijah went into his senior year believing there was one part of his life God wouldn’t be able to restore. From an early age, Elijah had carried anger and resentment against his parents for their distance from him growing up. The loneliness he felt during his best friend’s death had only worsened their relationship. This unresolved area in his life left him feeling disconnected from his ministry on campus and even led him to believe the lie that he was unfit for the Holy Spirit. 

At the beginning of his final semester, Elijah headed to Ambition Conference with his chapter. He wasn’t sure what to expect, having never been to a Christian conference before, but he was excited to continue building his faith and leadership skills. 

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As the conference began, he was encouraged by sessions on listening for God’s voice, starting new ministries on campus, and reaching students of all backgrounds. 

On the second night, when leaders offered to pray for students, he felt prompted to ask for prayer. Taking a risk, he shared with a leader about how he’d been carrying unforgiveness against his family for most of his life. The leader asked Elijah to confess to God everything he had been unable to forgive. As he listed events that had caused him years of pain, he felt his bitterness lift away, replaced by feelings of joy. 

Days later, Elijah’s father called him unexpectedly. During their conversation, Elijah’s father revealed that he’d forgotten the anniversary of his dad’s passing. As they continued talking, he confessed that the event made him feel guilty that he’d never been close to his own children, including Elijah. 

Elijah prayed for his father over the phone. It was the first time he’d ever prayed with a family member. His father apologized for the ways he’d hurt him over the years, but Elijah says he no longer needed the apology. 

“I had put a magnifying glass up to [my parents’] sin,” said Elijah. “Once that prayer happened and the unforgiveness was lifted, it was like God took the magnifying glass away. I felt like I was able to see them the way Christ would.” 

When Elijah returned to the ministry house, Hannah and Micah were the first to celebrate with him. 

Goals Beyond Graduation 

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Now a graduating senior, Elijah continues to co-lead a freshman Bible study where he says he’s encouraged by his fellow students’ growth and openness. After graduation, he is looking forward to accepting a full-time position at Boeing and has committed to volunteering with his chapter at ASU for the next two years. 

As Elijah looks toward his future, his goals for every area of his life have been shaped by his experiences with InterVarsity over the last four years. 

“My whole goal is to be missional in the places I’m put, whether it’s in my family, people at work, or even when I start my own family one day,” said Elijah.” “I want to say yes to what God is putting in my life.” 

Thanks to Jesus’ work in his life and his InterVarsity community, Elijah’s life and leadership have been set on a completely different trajectory. From grieving to healed. From angry to extending grace. From selfish to servant. From death to abundant life.