Equipping the Outsider: Kaitlyn’s Story

Could I Belong? 

Only certain people could enjoy college: the fun, social, bubbly people. But not me...there could be no sense of belonging for people like me. 

At least that’s what I told myself as the quiet, timid girl I was when I began my first semester at the University of Wisconsin-Whitewater. Everyone claimed my college years would speed by in a blur of fun, excitement, and life-changing self-discovery. I figured I had to be the exception, because the moment I landed on campus, I wanted to go home. 

I was rooming with a friend at the time, and I was perplexed to find that she was having the opposite experience. She always seemed to be out of the dorm, finding friends and making memories. When she invited me to her InterVarsity Bible study, I accepted, hoping to get a taste of the joy she was finding in college. 

After surviving a week drowning in schoolwork, feeling like a ghost, and sometimes going hours upon hours without speaking a word, the Bible study leader made me feel as if my voice actually mattered. Every time I returned to Bible study, I entered feeling tired and unmotivated, reassured by the fact that I didn’t have to participate... and left feeling energized, encouraged, and surprised by how much I actually did. 

Was I Not Good Enough? 

Even as my college experience was improving, loneliness still crept in, so I started pushing myself to attend more InterVarsity events. I set a record by going to three Bible studies a week. I showed up at large group consistently and stayed for after-parties. I went to all the retreats. I made an appearance at every movie night, community meal, and gathering. I even started going to the worship practices, though I wasn’t part of the team. 

Through these activities, I learned how to see God as a friend and have an intimate relationship with him. I was mentored by an InterVarsity leader and learned to let go of a lifestyle of sin I was holding on to for a long time. God’s way was better than my own, so I worshipped him and grew to love him. 

But when it came to my chapter, I still felt like something was missing. I blamed it on the people, frustrated that they didn’t come over to talk to me nearly as much as I would have liked. Why was this taking so long? I was present and consistent. Everyone knew my name. I joined the community for every activity, investing in my relationship with God more than I ever had before. I felt close to God, yet I didn’t feel close to my chapter at all. Was I simply not good enough? 

From Outsider to Advocate 

When I was invited to participate in New Student Outreach (NSO) my junior year, I hesitated. Why would the leadership team ask me of all people? I wondered. I wasn’t one of the charismatic people in the chapter. I wasn’t particularly interesting or charming. What use could I really be? 

But they had put their faith in me, so I decided to take a step. As I stood behind a table and shared all of the amazing opportunities InterVarsity had to offer the students passing by, I felt connected to my chapter for the very first time. I got to stand side-by-side with them and join in their mission to bring Jesus to our campus. 

That is when I realized that the leaders in my chapter didn’t invite me to play a part in NSO only because of what I could do for them... part of the invitation was about what NSO could do for me. 

The second week, Bible studies launched, and as usual, I went to three. The last one was led by my former roommate, the one who made me that first invitation, and I went to support her. For a while, it seemed I would be her only member, but a freshman I hadn’t met yet showed up late. I was quickly impressed by her boldness and Biblical knowledge. When she shared that she was searching for a Christian community, I realized that I could be the one to make the invitation. 

I looked at her and remembered how I felt when I was in her position—an overwhelmed freshman trying only to find a home, waiting for someone to open the door. And so, when the study ended, I decided to be that someone. I invited her to get dinner with me. As I learned her story and welcomed her into our community, I realized I no longer felt like an outsider. 

It turned out the key to feeling included was taking steps to include others. 

Accepting Invitations 

Everything turned around my junior year. The freshman I met at the Bible study became one of my best friends, and we served the chapter together. I started helping the welcome team, becoming the first face students saw when they came to large group. I even joined the worship team! Though it was my first time using a microphone, I started leading my own songs and discovered how loud the “quiet girl’s” voice could really be. 

By the end of the year, God had made me two big invitations: 1) join the leadership team in my chapter and lead a Bible study, and 2) go on a mission trip. The former was an easy yes, but the mission trip made me hesitate. I had never even ridden a plane before, and I didn’t have much money. But God was insistent, and when I finally said yes, he made a way. That summer, I went with a group called Overland Missions to Zambia for two weeks and shared the gospel for the first time. 

God’s voice was clear: “Don’t put limits on how much you think I can use you.” 

God Can Use Anyone 

By the time my senior year came along, I didn’t recognize my freshman self anymore. I spoke in front of large group twice. I had spiritual conversations with random students around campus, surveying them about their experience with religion. I discipled two members in my Bible study and mentored them in their spiritual journeys. I participated in a Proxe station and confidently shared the gospel with students passing by. I even played a central role in the Mark Drama, a 90-minute performance of the gospel of Mark. 

I was capable of all this not because I was a leader in the chapter, and not because I was more fun, or had more friends, or even had more social skills. I was still an introvert. I still had moments when I pulled back from the action and became an observer. Some people still even considered me the “quiet girl” of the group. 

But one thing had changed, one thing that made all the difference: I stopped telling myself there were things I couldn’t do. When God called, I said yes.